The Mindful Lawyer views the Movie “Silence”
One of the insights I have had on the mindful journey is that to live a life of peace one must give up the notion we can control our destiny. I had a difficult time with this concept. I have always been a planner and prided myself on my independence. I bought into the myth that you can control your own destiny alone. However, I have begun to realize that I have lived an illusion. I must acknowledge where I am and who I am. I am of a certain age, have certain talents, and abilities; but I also have limitations.
I have learned through prayer, reflection, and paying attention to the circumstances I find myself in every minute of every day that there is something greater at work. Surprisingly, the definition of a Saint is living according to God’s will and purpose. This is no easy task. I have come to realize that I cannot do it alone. I depend on God’s grace and love. He alone is the divine source. I need only ask. In order to not block God’s grace I must remain in Him and live, act and be like Him. He has shown us how to live to live life fully. When I fall and I so very often do I ask for forgiveness and God’s mercy. His mercy is abundant. In my struggles I have found the sacraments are a source of help. and strengthen the connection.
As I experience this relationship I see how I will not always understand why things happen as they do; or why I have the life I do. I must accept where I am at a particular time and particular place. To embrace my commitments and obligations and best fulfill them according to God’s will. When Christ said take up your cross and follow me he meant living my ordinary life as best I can in love and service.
I spent so much time wondering about a life I could have had and had the audacity to presume what God could do for me or through me. I know now that my pride has stood in the way of my growth and transformation. I am not my own god. I must follow his lead.
When I watched the movie “Silence,” I was very troubled. It left me depleted and uneasy. I now see why. The priests in that movie thought they knew and understood God. They began a crusade to find their “lost” priest but somehow along the way it was no longer a labor of love for and with God. It became “their” crusade. They tried to do their will not God’s will. Father Garupe played by Adam Driver was tempted to be a savior instead of serving the “Savior” He lived and made decisions according to his will not God’s.
God is mystery and I know I will never understand Him. However I do know that I must l love, serve ,and never deny him. And for this reason I most identified with the character Kichijiro. Though a poor wretch who was anything but faithful he kept coming back to God begging for forgiveness. In the end he kept the cross on his person even though he knew the risk and it was ultimately his demise. While Father Garupe served the Japanese government as the destroyer of all things Catholic.
The irony of the movie is that Father Garupe and Father Ferreira played by Liam Neeson were less faithful then the very followers they wanted to protect and were called to serve Their followers willingly died as martyrs. Japan was called a swamp by the Grand Inquisitor. However, even a swamp can be fertilized and produce with the blood of martyrs. Father Rodriguez who at first had doubts about the mission and the Japan .ended up sacrificing his life for his flock as Jesus did.
This movie did remind me of my love and gratitude for the mass, and our ability to practice my faith. The privatization of religion as demonstrated by the later life of Father Garupe broke my heart. He worked for the Japanese to eradicate ant signs of the faith. Martin Scorsese’s attempt at the end of the film to redeem Father Garupe by having him buried with a crucifix in his hand was the saddest moment of the film.
Jesus said we would be persecuted. If you love someone and they are everything to you and deny them would be to deny yourself. You would never hide or remain “Silent!”
