As I continued on my spiritual and mindfulness journey I decided I should return to see my
spiritual director. If I was going to continue to grow and flourish I knew I needed someone to walk with
me on this path. I needed to make the time. When I confided in him how at times I felt stuck and
was not sure if I was truly following God’s will in my life; he listened attentively. I described how I
longed to be closer to God and I wanted to keep Him with me through the day; not just during the times
I prayed, attended mass, or practiced centering prayer. I wanted to be truly present throughout my
day. He suggested I embark on the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola. He told me to order Kevin
O’Brien’s book, “The Ignatian Adventure.” The Spiritual Exercises are a compilation of meditations,
prayers, and contemplative practices developed by St. Ignatius to help people deepen their relationship
with God.
I was attracted to the Exercises as they are designed to help one hear God’s call by freeing us of
the interior clutter in our minds and whatever inordinate attachments we hold that prevent us from
following God. When I read in Kevin O’Brien’s introduction “that the adventure that God had in store for
Ignatius was traveling the distance between the head and the heart and inspiring him with bold holy
desires for God’s glory and service of others.” I could definitely relate. I often have difficulty integrating
what I know with how I live and feel. I knew I had made the right decision. I longed to grow in union with
God which is the purpose of the exercises.
I also found it ironic that O’Brien now a Jesuit was an attorney like myself. At the beginning of
the book Kevin O’Brien recalls being in court and has a vivid memory of being outside of the courthouse
conversing with an older Jewish woman named Miriam who happened to be his client. After lunch he
did not want to go back to court. He realized he was more content “being” with Miriam, than being her
lawyer.
He felt a pull and began to explore these feelings. He said being a lawyer he wanted an answer
and needed to know what to do and then do it. This I something I related to all too well. I took this as a
prompting from the Holy Spirit that I too was on the right path. After a year of prayer, spiritual direction
and patience he finally heard God’s voice clearly and became a Jesuit. God had a greater calling for him.
Once again the recurrent theme of discovering your true self and not remaining in the false self came
through. I hoped the Exercises would help me address these concerns and help me discover
my true self.
In preparation for the exercises it was recommended to me by my director to create a sacred
space to pray and begin the exercises. A place separate and apart to be able to enter into
the experience and focus my attention on Him. I wondered how to make it special and reverent. We
discussed a crucifix, fresh flowers and a candle. As I prepared the area the first morning I became
jubilant and carefully arranged everything. I lit the candle arranged the flowers and realized how ritual is
so important to mark sacred time. As I readied the table I thought about something my spiritual director
said, “When you read the scripture passages assigned on a particular day be with the Word as if it was a
person because it is Christ. Rest in it. Stay with it. Be with Him.” This is His place.
The exercises are a commitment of time and energy. The exercises if not done at a retreat for a
full thirty days is spread out over 30 weeks. It is recommended you spend at least an hour a day in
prayer and meditating over the daily recommended scripture reading. Every week has a suggestive
grace to pray for and meditate on. This is not a difficulty for me as there is nothing I would
rather do with my time then study and be with the Word of God. To converse with Him and listen with
an ear of the heart. I am so excited about what I might discover about Him and myself. I am eager to
embark on this adventure and I will reflect and journal about my experiences. I will share my insights
and how these days have touched me, what insights I received and I pray this experience will bring the
mindful lawyer further along my journey.