It was a rough week. I had to fire an employee and a relationship from my past which I thought I had closure on was back in my life with a vengeance. It was Lent and a speaker I followed, Brother Don Bissson, was giving a retreat on Brokeness, Sin, and Mercy. Brother Don is a Jungian Psychologist who lectures on theology and the psyche. It was a silent retreat and I would be alone as Mark had to care for Bella, my stepdaughter.
The retreat was being held at the Linwood Spiritual Center In Rhinebeck, New York. It is run by the Ursuline Sisters. I had never been there before and it was a two and a half hour drive from Staten Island. I had a longing to go and I was looking forward to the silence and listening to Brother Don on topic that was so relevant especially during I drove up and was pleasantly surprised to see the retreat Center was right on the Hudson River. The property was extensive. It was on a hill and there were trails and birdhouses throughout the wooded property. The view was amazing.
When I awoke the next morning I was met by blue jays on the lawn in front of my room, as well as robins and sparrows. It was a brilliant sunny day and I was determined to take a walk at our first break. I walked along the trails and went down to the river. I was reflecting on the lecture and used the exercise as a form of meditation. In my wandering I came upon a Labyrinth. I had seen labyrinths before at other retreat centers; however, I never walked one. There was a pamphlet explaining that a labyrinth could be used a spiritual tool. The definition is it is a path much like our lives with different ways to the Center. It is not a maze or a puzzle. It has no dead ends. I could get there any way I chose but no matter which way I chose, I was moving toward the center.
This labyrinth is a copy of the most well known labyrinth of the Middle Ages found in the Cathedral of the Notre Dame de Chartres in France. (This Cathedral has always enthralled me and I long to visit it.) The Labyrinth is composed of eleven circuits and is divided into four quadrants, clearly defined by a cross. At the center, is a rose shaped area, a place to stop, pray and meditate and receive what is offered.
This resonated with me. We are all on the path to God. He is at the center of our being, waiting for us with open arms. And even though this Labyrinth was made of grass and bricks, and it was winter, and the there was not much grass, I could clearly see the lines and spaces leading to the center. This walk made me recollect on how many times during my life I chose to not move closer to God. Times when there was a space when he called to me and I ignored him; as well as the times I chose to move further away from Him. Then I thought how often I wanted to just rush to the center without taking the time to walk along the outer rim to learn from my mistakes, or taking the necessary steps to draw close to Him with On the walk today I took the long way to the center but with every row I crossed I asked the Lord to bring me closer to Him, as well as prayed for those who had hurt me in the preceding week. As I got to the center, my heart was filled with gratitude and love. I thanked the Spirit for the opportunity that was given to me, knowing that without the pain caused by those I prayed for, I might not have ever experienced the labyrinth as another path to God.
